What if the person who has sinned against you doesn't even realize that he has done something wrong? Or, what if he knows and doesn't seem to care? Your forgiveness would have no meaning for that person. And he would have no chance to change his actions in the future.

You are given some money in return for work you have done for one of your neighbors. Another neighbor doesn't know where you got the money so she starts a rumor that you stole the money from the place where you work. This rumor does a lot of damage to your reputation, but you decide to forgive the person who started it, because you know that it only came from ignorance. But she keeps spreading the rumor, telling more and more people, until your boss hears it and decides to fire you from your job. How can you keep such things from happening? How can you make your forgiveness real for the person who wronged you, and help her change her actions?

Jesus helps us with that problem in Matthew 18:15-17. He shows us how to help our neighbors repent and receive the forgiveness we offer in His name.

What is the first step in leading a neighbor to forgiveness? (verse15)  

It is important that we first approach our neighbor privately, so that he can repent without too much shame, and so that his or her own good name is not destroyed in the community.

If that fails, what are we to do? (verse16)  

Here it is important to have witnesses so that your neighbor doesn't think that your complaint is just a personal grudge that you have. He would know that he has really done something wrong and that he should repent.

If he still will not repent, what is the next step? (verse 17)  

The final step, also in verse17, is a very strong one, breaking off your relationship with that person.

All of the above steps are serious. It is very difficult to confront someone with their own wrongdoing, their own sin. But we do those things out of love. We do them because we do not want our neighbor to continue to sin, we do not want him to continue to break the relationship with us. But, most of all, we take those steps because we do not want our neighbor to continue to sin and risk the anger and punishment of God. We want him to share the same love and forgiveness that we have from God, through the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.

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